Today

With motherhood, comes a level of unconditional love that until now, I didn't think existed.

My own mother used to tease me, and sometimes still does about how grumpy I used to wake up. As a teenager, I could sleep for ten hours, and then take up to two naps in any given afternoon. She would wake me up by saying "wake up sleepy head" or "hi missy!" in an exhuberant, high energy tone. I would mumble something back to her and role over and go back to bed. She would mock at how miserable I sounded! I have always been a hard sleeper, and one who dreamt of wild things: meeting Madonna in person, flying with eagles, exploring foreign lands in a hot air balloon. During my deep sleep, these dreams brought me to a level of a creative life I was always meant to live. It was there I met people I always wanted to meet, saw things my imagination could only take me to and I never wanted to wake from them.

Now I am a light sleeper and wake up frequently throughout the night, tending to my son's diaper changing, feedings and my personal favorite, the occasional laugh. In the morning, when he wakes me up for the day, I smile at him so that he will smile. I change and feed him so that he will start the day clean and well fed. I am no longer able to mumble something in a grumpy tone and turn over and go back to sleep. No matter what I want, my needs go to him now, for the sake and well being of him. I am what I like to call The Perfect Morning Mother in Training.

I am what I like to call a mother who is changing all her ways, a mother who is doing the things she thought she could never do, a mother who is patient like she never thought she could be, a mother who sees the big picture and gives up the small stuff, a mother who has learned how to make her son smile no matter how early it may be, a mother who has let those wild dreams that she loves so much from her deep sleep go.

May we take in each opportunity to become a mother of patience, perseverence and unconditonal love. May we dream of where it can take us.