Over the Rainbow.....

Today because of a lullabye, I began to think about the dreams I have for myself. Or had. Or both and all in between.

When I was a teenager, my days were often filled with dramatic daydreams of a wild life: being a best selling published author; living on a beach in Hawaii and eating off of my mango and avacado trees; deep sea diving in the Great Barrior Reef, and loving without fearing anyone or anything. Today, at age 31 (and counting) I have done some of those, and forgotten about others. I swam in the Great Barrior Reef, travelled to Florence, England, and Italy, met and married the love of my life and did it all without fearing so much that it hindered my ability to love. But, now I need to continue in the direction of my dreams and do what I love without censorship, but bravery. I must as I did as a child, follow the rainbow.

Are your dreams coming true? If they're not, are you doing anything to help them along the way make their way to you? I am slowly waking up to my dreams, to my purpose, to living life by being the truest form of myself that I can be, and now that I am a mother I believe that my son is helping me with these self-realizations. As if he's a little warrior guiding me along the path, through the forest, to the golden pot of gold.

This morning was a good morning. Since my husband was still out of town it was just Miles and I. He woke up smiling at me as if I could honestly do no wrong, as if I was the most lovable person in the world. He played on his stomach, lying on top of his favorite blue patchwork blanket, stretching from the long night's sleep and working hard at strengthening his neck muscles. I put on a strong cup of coffee. Only French Roast, only the best to keep me going all morning long. By the late morning I had smiled at my son's gleeful face more times than I could count because his face was truly a face that beat out being sleep deprived, being stressed about other things racing through my mind.

The afternoon only got better.

He went through bottles and bottles of milk for lunch and I didn't even seem to notice that my own stomach was growling with hunger. Forget lunch for myself I thought because today he was an extra amount of joy, the center of my entire world.

Then, the magic of the day came. It came all at once and exploding like fireworks in front of my sleep deprived eyes.

Becoming bored of the same old lullabyes to sing (and I'm pretty sure he was too) I sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow. A favorite from my childhood I thought it would be a nice change of pace from Itsy-Bitsy Spider and Row, Row, Row your Boat. It was and more. He smiled and squeeled when I sang about the blue birds, the lemondrops, the chimney tops. He ate up every word and convinced me to take a closer look at the song.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops, way above the chimney tops...

I started to think about my dreams. The dreams I had already lived out, the dreams I have abandoned, the dreams I've forgotten about or ignored intentionally, the dreams that seem way too big to catch. I began to think about the things that stop me before I even start and how I don't want that part of myself to take over my life anymore. I thought about how big I want my life to really be, and most importantly how I want my son to see me as he grows up and becomes a man in his own rite. My dreams.

Somewhere over the rainbow I thought. I began to wonder how much time in my life had already passed while I was busy with relationships, jobs, mindless chatter, worries and insecurities.

I had forgotten all about the rainbow. The dream. The possibilities of a limitless life but I'll be looking out for it from now on.

My three month old son smiled with each blissful moment that passed as I mouth the words, again and again. One more time. And again. I could see into his eyes the complete bliss, the wonderment, the spark. Once again I feel like my son is living life the way it's meant to be lived - out loud. For being on this earth for such a short period of time, he is already re-teaching me to live each moment with happiness, seek out the magic in everyday and to always, always follow the rainbow.


Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I...