The Beginning

I am a first time, brand new mother to a two and a half month old baby boy named Miles and chronicling every single minute of it. Becoming a mother was quite terrifing actually, for quite a while. I won't be bashful or shameful in admitting that. As soon as my husband and I walked into our apartment on Christmas Day with our brand new baby in tow, I looked at him and said, "now what?" I am flabbergasted that a man and woman, who until this moment in their lives have just had to worry about each other can now figure out how to take care of a tiny little life. Like many of us out there, I had a past that involved accidentally killed many plants (and even the occasional bunch of roses) and was very unsure of my abilities to care for a child. How would I survive without the nurses, my doctor, my mother's constant sage advice? But, as these two and a half months have already proved, I am doing it, I am amazed I am doing it, and on some days I actually excel at doing it.

My son was born on December 23rd, and the next day it began to snow. In Texas. And, it continued to snow as I shared the vision of a newly white city to my two day old son. I rocked him to sleep that night, the first calmness I felt since before I gave birth. It was that first experience of calmness that comes with motherhood that made me realize I can't let one of these moments pass my baby and I by.

I began to write in my journal about everything he was teaching me, and frankly I just couldn't stop. It was intoxicating watching my baby open his eyes for the first time, grabbing onto my fingers, laughing that first laugh. There was countless ways on a day to day basis that I learn about my baby, from my baby, and that I will undoubtably learn about the wonders of the world because of my baby. Whether it's staying in the moment no matter what life is handing him, or honoring himself by staying true to his emotions, my son seems to know quite a lot for being here such a short time. There's no doubt about it. My ears, eyes and heart need to stay open and alert every day with him because he's going to be the one teaching me about life, not the other way around.

Stay tuned.