Raising a 'Gentleman'

Yesterday I took Miles to Starbucks. Being the coffee connoisseur that I am, he is learning early to patiently wait for me to finish my cup of coffee.

A older couple in their eighties came in and asked an employee for "David, please." A few minutes later a young man came out from behind the counter and gave the man a big hug, and gave the woman a gentle one. He looked to be in his mid twenties, and called them gramps and grandma. Waiting for the coffee to kick in and jolt me awake, I watched them interact and began to think about how many men I know who possess a signifigant amount of manners, how many who lack them and those that had them but let them go somewhere down the road.

Don't get me wrong. Many women I know have no manners at all. Spending a couple of years working at various retail industries I know firsthand how rude and inconsiderate people can be no matter what your gender is. But, in my family and close circle of friends I am surrounded by the best. We never forget a 'thank you', 'you're welcome', holding the door open for the elderly and sending thank you notes after a present is given. I've been raised by a showstopping, over-the-top group of etiquette believers. And, I fully intend on passing it along.

While I sipped my coffee, I watched the young man talk to his grandparents, gently, fondly, sweetly. They asked him how his honeymoon to Australia was. They asked him what he was planning for his anniversary. His grandfather interupted him in a stern tone to say, "You must always court your wife you know." The young man shook his head and said "Yes, sir,' as if to gulp down his years of wisdom, extracting what he could for his own marriage. He then went over to his grandmother, who was having some difficulty getting up from her seat, and he took her hand. He told her her hairstyle looked beautiful.

I looked down at my son who is only three months old. It got me thinking. How do you raise a man in this age when manners and etiquette seem to be disappearing? How do you raise a gentleman?

The message starts now, I tell myself.

I commit to raising my son with an awareness for people and the good of the planet, to always consider another person's position of hardship before thinking of his own, to tap into his skills and passions before expectations, and to always hold the door open for strangers and friends alike.

I believe in raising a gentleman who will continue the tradition of chivalry and respect. I expect nothing less. Starting now.