Vaccinations

I believe my son getting his shots is harder on me than it is on him.

At his two month checkup, they gave him four shots, and I turned my head while squinting my eyes and telling him, 'it's ok,' Due to the vaccination, he got his first fever that night and I felt like a wretched mother.

On Friday, he has his next doctor's visit, complete with a new vaccination. I have already rescheduled it twice, for the fear of anticipating my son's pain. Is the pain really that bad, or is it in my head? It got me to thinking, and I realize that more than anything, more than how bad those shots must really feel, I'm just wanting to shelter him from pain - any pain that comes into his life.

I guess that's what mother's do.

As a new mother, I realize I am fighting my maternal insincts that make me want to scream out to the doctor DONT HURT MY BABY!!! Insead, I must sit there and trust modern medicane, the Texas health department and my son's tough-guy mentality that even at four months old, he'll be alright.

I need to remember that he's the one teaching me about life. Although I can't protect him from the vaccinations, I can watch him seize the moment, and after a good cry, watch him have a good laugh.