Peter Pan Syndrome

Acting silly. Sometimes I find this escapes my daily activities until I look to my son and am reminded how much I'm missing out on my own inner-child, laughing and acting like the carefree character of Peter Pan.

When we become 'grown-ups' do we become 'too good' for the fun to come out? We become focused on our work. We set deadlines for ourselves, our goals, our responsibilities. We want that body, that income, that relationship until we realize we are missing something important, signifigant, something we let go a long time ago. So, we look forward to events like Halloween when we're allowed to dress up and act silly. Then we wonder why we don't have more days like this.

I envy every moment of my son's life because unlike me - as much as I don't want to admit it - he is gleefull, silly -- and can find humor in a piece of gum, the crinkly sound of a peice of paper or the fan spinning overhead. Why can't we stay like this?

Sometimes I think Peter Pan had it right. Although he wasn't so much the model of responsibility, he was in tune with his childlike ways, and promised to be a boy forever. At one point, he looks to Wendy and says, Come with me where you'll never have to worry about grown up things again."

The truth for me is, I love being an adult, and the perks it gives me. I love my independence and my financial freedom. I love having a car that works and no longer driving a beat up, end-of-its-life 1985 Toyota Hatchback. I love no longer having to sneak out of the bedroom to see my friends when I'm grounded, or that sense of impatience because I want to be 'grown up'. I'm here, and I love where I am. But, I would also love to balance out my life a bit and remember that not every moment of my grown-up life needs to be serious. I can allow the sillyness in. I can be Peter Pan when I want to.