I must, I must.

It's been a while, I know. What can I say? Being a new mother (and yes, I still consider myself a newbie although some will say that once your baby passes the four month mark, you are no longer an amateur at this) still makes me dizzy, still fills my mind up with questions I long the answers for, and I still at times doubt my comptency at being the best mother I can be for my son.

I am challenged by the balance act. How do I balance all the aspects of motherhood while keeping my sanity?

Most days, I accomplish two out of three. On Monday, I excelled at being an attentive and loving wife and mother, then went to work in the evening but by bedtime, I drifted to sleep feeling emotionally depleted. On Tuesday, I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for my family with skill and creativity, did the laundry and mopped the floors, and even found time to write in my journal. Unfortunatly, I failed to give me son a bath. Not on purpose of course, but the act escaped me.

Encorporating all that goes into each day in my NEW life as a mother, I am still left dumbfounded and mesmerized by the many details and tasks I must complete. I must do the laundry. I must make his baby food myself and use eco-friendly diapers. I must run two miles a day to lose that baby weight. I must, I must.

We women are great at giving ourselves impossible expectations.

Here's what I"m starting to wonder. Maybe instead of the impossible 'musts', maybe we need to start a new one. 'I must' ask my husband for help on the days I'm worn out. 'I must' give myself a break here and there. 'I must' take me as I am because if the laundry sits in the hamper for an extra day or two or we order takeout because I'm too tired to cook a meal, that's ok.

'I must' do it all? No. It can wait.