I believe my son getting his shots is harder on me than it is on him.
At his two month checkup, they gave him four shots, and I turned my head while squinting my eyes and telling him, 'it's ok,' Due to the vaccination, he got his first fever that night and I felt like a wretched mother.
On Friday, he has his next doctor's visit, complete with a new vaccination. I have already rescheduled it twice, for the fear of anticipating my son's pain. Is the pain really that bad, or is it in my head? It got me to thinking, and I realize that more than anything, more than how bad those shots must really feel, I'm just wanting to shelter him from pain - any pain that comes into his life.
I guess that's what mother's do.
As a new mother, I realize I am fighting my maternal insincts that make me want to scream out to the doctor DONT HURT MY BABY!!! Insead, I must sit there and trust modern medicane, the Texas health department and my son's tough-guy mentality that even at four months old, he'll be alright.
I need to remember that he's the one teaching me about life. Although I can't protect him from the vaccinations, I can watch him seize the moment, and after a good cry, watch him have a good laugh.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Pee Factor
"When we approach children with the awareness that they are our teachers, we become more present ourselves."
Often I go to www.dailyom.com - a website geared with daily affirmations, spiritual thoughts and helpful advice that helps me start my day on a positive note. Today I began to think about the 'little teacher' in my life. I think about the lesson's he has taught me: patience, letting go of control and finding humor in the moment - even when he pees on both of us during an uncordinated diaper change!
Mostly, I think how I am the student and my classroom is watching my child open himself up to the world, the observations I see through his eyes, and the lessons I learn from his innocent spirit.
A few days ago as I was changing Miles, and in between diapers, he peed all over his face. Had I peed on my face, that would be a deal breaker for the day, but because he has no reason to dwell on the moment-on any given moment for that matter - he looked up and me and gave a big grin. I laughed, he mimicked my laughter, and watched me steadily as I wiped away the dripping pee from his face. Why stress when you have a handy washcloth, a fresh diaper and a great sense of humor?
I am reminded that to enjoy life and it's lessons, I must live in the moment, even if that means enduring the occassional pee.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Peter Pan Syndrome
Acting silly. Sometimes I find this escapes my daily activities until I look to my son and am reminded how much I'm missing out on my own inner-child, laughing and acting like the carefree character of Peter Pan.
When we become 'grown-ups' do we become 'too good' for the fun to come out? We become focused on our work. We set deadlines for ourselves, our goals, our responsibilities. We want that body, that income, that relationship until we realize we are missing something important, signifigant, something we let go a long time ago. So, we look forward to events like Halloween when we're allowed to dress up and act silly. Then we wonder why we don't have more days like this.
I envy every moment of my son's life because unlike me - as much as I don't want to admit it - he is gleefull, silly -- and can find humor in a piece of gum, the crinkly sound of a peice of paper or the fan spinning overhead. Why can't we stay like this?
Sometimes I think Peter Pan had it right. Although he wasn't so much the model of responsibility, he was in tune with his childlike ways, and promised to be a boy forever. At one point, he looks to Wendy and says, Come with me where you'll never have to worry about grown up things again."
The truth for me is, I love being an adult, and the perks it gives me. I love my independence and my financial freedom. I love having a car that works and no longer driving a beat up, end-of-its-life 1985 Toyota Hatchback. I love no longer having to sneak out of the bedroom to see my friends when I'm grounded, or that sense of impatience because I want to be 'grown up'. I'm here, and I love where I am. But, I would also love to balance out my life a bit and remember that not every moment of my grown-up life needs to be serious. I can allow the sillyness in. I can be Peter Pan when I want to.
When we become 'grown-ups' do we become 'too good' for the fun to come out? We become focused on our work. We set deadlines for ourselves, our goals, our responsibilities. We want that body, that income, that relationship until we realize we are missing something important, signifigant, something we let go a long time ago. So, we look forward to events like Halloween when we're allowed to dress up and act silly. Then we wonder why we don't have more days like this.
I envy every moment of my son's life because unlike me - as much as I don't want to admit it - he is gleefull, silly -- and can find humor in a piece of gum, the crinkly sound of a peice of paper or the fan spinning overhead. Why can't we stay like this?
Sometimes I think Peter Pan had it right. Although he wasn't so much the model of responsibility, he was in tune with his childlike ways, and promised to be a boy forever. At one point, he looks to Wendy and says, Come with me where you'll never have to worry about grown up things again."
The truth for me is, I love being an adult, and the perks it gives me. I love my independence and my financial freedom. I love having a car that works and no longer driving a beat up, end-of-its-life 1985 Toyota Hatchback. I love no longer having to sneak out of the bedroom to see my friends when I'm grounded, or that sense of impatience because I want to be 'grown up'. I'm here, and I love where I am. But, I would also love to balance out my life a bit and remember that not every moment of my grown-up life needs to be serious. I can allow the sillyness in. I can be Peter Pan when I want to.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
To Pee or Not To Pee
"When we approach children with the awareness that they are our teachers, we become more present ourselves."
Often I go to www.dailyom.com - a website geared with daily affirmations, spiritual thoughts and helpful advice that helps me start my day on a positive note. Today I began to think about the 'little teacher' in my life. I think about the lesson's he has taught me: patience, letting go of control and finding humor in the moment - even when he pees on both of us during an uncordinated diaper change!
Mostly, I think how I am the student and my classroom is watching my child open himself up to the world, the observations I see through his eyes, and the lessons I learn from his innocent spirit.
A few days ago as I was changing Miles, and in between diapers, he peed all over his face. Had I peed on my face, that would be a deal breaker for the day, but because he has no reason to dwell on the moment-on any given moment for that matter - he looked up and me and gave a big grin. I laughed, he mimicked my laughter, and watched me steadily as I wiped away the dripping pee from his face. Why stress when you have a handy washcloth, a fresh diaper and a great sense of humor?
I am reminded that to enjoy life and it's lessons, I must live in the moment, even if that means enduring the occassional pee.
The Golden Question
A good friend of mine who has 'baby fever' recently asked me if I think she'll be a good mother.
Other than the fact that I think she will be, motherhood - at least in my experience - has been a process of trial and error, of learning and most of all - trusting those maternal instincts that kick in as soon as we hold our baby in our arms for the first time.
I believe - that believing in ourselves - is the biggest trick to it all.
With that final 'push' at shortly past midnight on December 23rd, and the doctor showed me my son for the first time, I cried uncontrollably. Then, I laughed which resembled Jack Nicholson's famous cackle - and then I cried some more. My emotions were one of hysterics and intense as if love from the core was running through my body and out on the other side. It is true what the others say: you don't know unconditional love until you have a child.
So to answer my friend's question. Yes, she'll be a great mother because like the women before her and the soon-to-be mothers of the world, we will all be the great mothers we hope to be and then some. We will rely on our instincts for those moments we don't know WHAT to do, we'll lean on a community of women to help us along the way, and we'll believe whole-heartedly in ourselves and turn inward for the answers.
Male Bonding
There are few men I know who have a solid group of male friends and I wonder, does that contribute to their longevity? I believe it plays a crucial role in their happiness at least.
Living a happy life means someone to share it with. A fufulling marriage is one thing, but outside of that who do you rely on for support, laughter, the occasional cocktail over endless chatter? A good friend.
My husband is one of the only men I know to have a solid group of male companionship. Since the sixth grade, he's had a group of best friends who he still talks to on a weekly basis. Scattered throughout Texas now, they make it an priority to be there for one another - whether that means talking or texting on the phone, planning their annual golf trip, or meeting in the middle of the state for their 'male getaways'. They have found support in one another which I believe has filled in the gaps of their lives. They are friends in the truest sense of the word.
I hope my husband will pass on the importance of male bonding to our son. Last night I watched my husband demonstrate to him the importance of The Lakers, how great Kobe Bryant was playing and that unfair call from the referee. Our son watched in amazement - already at just three months old -- and listened to his father passionatly speak about his team who was alrady becoming 'their' team. As much as I hope my son will have a core group of supportive friends in his life, I also know he is forming a friendship with the greatest friend he will have - his father. From here, his own possibilities are endless.
Living a happy life means someone to share it with. A fufulling marriage is one thing, but outside of that who do you rely on for support, laughter, the occasional cocktail over endless chatter? A good friend.
My husband is one of the only men I know to have a solid group of male companionship. Since the sixth grade, he's had a group of best friends who he still talks to on a weekly basis. Scattered throughout Texas now, they make it an priority to be there for one another - whether that means talking or texting on the phone, planning their annual golf trip, or meeting in the middle of the state for their 'male getaways'. They have found support in one another which I believe has filled in the gaps of their lives. They are friends in the truest sense of the word.
I hope my husband will pass on the importance of male bonding to our son. Last night I watched my husband demonstrate to him the importance of The Lakers, how great Kobe Bryant was playing and that unfair call from the referee. Our son watched in amazement - already at just three months old -- and listened to his father passionatly speak about his team who was alrady becoming 'their' team. As much as I hope my son will have a core group of supportive friends in his life, I also know he is forming a friendship with the greatest friend he will have - his father. From here, his own possibilities are endless.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Raising a Gentleman
Yesterday I took Miles to Starbucks. Being the coffee connoisseur that I am, he is learning early to patiently wait for me to finish my cup of coffee.
A older couple in their eighties came in and asked an employee for "David, please." A few minutes later a young man came out from behind the counter and gave the man a big hug, and gave the woman a gentle one. He looked to be in his mid twenties, and called them gramps and grandma. Waiting for the coffee to kick in and jolt me awake, I watched them interact and began to think about how many men I know who possess a signifigant amount of manners, how many who lack them and those that had them but let them go somewhere down the road.
Don't get me wrong. Many women I know have no manners at all. Spending a couple of years working at various retail industries I know firsthand how rude and inconsiderate people can be no matter what your gender is. But, in my family and close circle of friends I am surrounded by the best. We never forget a 'thank you', 'you're welcome', holding the door open for the elderly and sending thank you notes after a present is given. I've been raised by a showstopping, over-the-top group of etiquette believers. And, I fully intend on passing it along.
While I sipped my coffee, I watched the young man talk to his grandparents, gently, fondly, sweetly. They asked him how his honeymoon to Australia was. They asked him what he was planning for his anniversary. His grandfather interupted him in a stern tone to say, "You must always court your wife you know." The young man shook his head and said "Yes, sir,' as if to gulp down his years of wisdom, extracting what he could for his own marriage. He then went over to his grandmother, who was having some difficulty getting up from her seat, and he took her hand. He told her her hairstyle looked beautiful.
I looked down at my son who is only three months old. It got me thinking. How do you raise a man in this age when manners and etiquette seem to be disappearing? How do you raise a gentleman?
The message starts now, I tell myself.
I commit to raising my son with an awareness for people and the good of the planet, to always consider another person's position of hardship before thinking of his own, to tap into his skills and passions before expectations, and to always hold the door open for strangers and friends alike.
I believe in raising a gentleman who will continue the tradition of chivalry and respect. I expect nothing less. Starting now.
A older couple in their eighties came in and asked an employee for "David, please." A few minutes later a young man came out from behind the counter and gave the man a big hug, and gave the woman a gentle one. He looked to be in his mid twenties, and called them gramps and grandma. Waiting for the coffee to kick in and jolt me awake, I watched them interact and began to think about how many men I know who possess a signifigant amount of manners, how many who lack them and those that had them but let them go somewhere down the road.
Don't get me wrong. Many women I know have no manners at all. Spending a couple of years working at various retail industries I know firsthand how rude and inconsiderate people can be no matter what your gender is. But, in my family and close circle of friends I am surrounded by the best. We never forget a 'thank you', 'you're welcome', holding the door open for the elderly and sending thank you notes after a present is given. I've been raised by a showstopping, over-the-top group of etiquette believers. And, I fully intend on passing it along.
While I sipped my coffee, I watched the young man talk to his grandparents, gently, fondly, sweetly. They asked him how his honeymoon to Australia was. They asked him what he was planning for his anniversary. His grandfather interupted him in a stern tone to say, "You must always court your wife you know." The young man shook his head and said "Yes, sir,' as if to gulp down his years of wisdom, extracting what he could for his own marriage. He then went over to his grandmother, who was having some difficulty getting up from her seat, and he took her hand. He told her her hairstyle looked beautiful.
I looked down at my son who is only three months old. It got me thinking. How do you raise a man in this age when manners and etiquette seem to be disappearing? How do you raise a gentleman?
The message starts now, I tell myself.
I commit to raising my son with an awareness for people and the good of the planet, to always consider another person's position of hardship before thinking of his own, to tap into his skills and passions before expectations, and to always hold the door open for strangers and friends alike.
I believe in raising a gentleman who will continue the tradition of chivalry and respect. I expect nothing less. Starting now.
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